Today has been a bad day.

I woke up several times last night with a stomach ache and I have no idea what it was from. The first time I woke up I decided immediately I would not be waking up at 5:00 am to make it to master swim. So I turned that alarm off and set another for an hour later, or so I thought. I ended up waking up a whole 15 minutes before I had to be to work. Crap. So I jumped out of bed brushed my teeth and through together an outfit in no time.  I ended up being only 5 minutes late considering but I absolutely hate being late.

And the second I sat at my desk all the problems started. I felt uncomfortable all day, I hated my outfit. I felt like it was unflattering and was the main cause of my being uncomfortable. I keep sitting it weird positions all day trying to disguise my stomach which eventually made my back ache. My hair looked dreadful, I didn’t even have time to put a brush through it. I barely swept any makeup on my face which has been revolting against me and is severely broken out. I felt like I look like a wreak and it really took a toll on me mentally.

With all this going through my brain I could hardly concentrate on the work I should have been doing and instead got caught up on my blog reading. Once I finished reading all the posts in my reader I turned to food to distract me. Now this obviously does make sense, I felt uncomfortable because I felt fat yet food will somehow make me feel better? Well after a few granola bars, a couple cookies, and a pint of ice cream, I did not feel better. Shocking.

I started this blog a couple of months ago as a way to keep track of workouts, track weight loss, and keep myself accountable. I have failed miserably at all three. On April 13th I weighed 153.4 with hopes of being 130 by the end of June. Well, on June 1st I weighed myself hoping to make a fresh start and get back on track, I weighed 164.6, the highest I have ever weighed. I didn’t freak out –or at least I tried not to- I just made myself recommit to my efforts. My last weigh in came in at 152.4 – the first time I have come below my starting weight from April 13th. I had lost 12 pound in 16 days.  This made me the happiest girl in the world and sadly I decided to celebrate the good news with over eating, fail.

Anyways, this post is suppose to be leading to how unhealthy my relationship with food is. I have an all or nothing attitude that needs to change. My weight determines my mood. I skip outings with friends to avoid overeating and drinking. And instead end up overeating another day when I’m feeling lonely. If my pants feel tight it makes me depressed and uncomfortable, and I talk all the time about how I want to lose weight, no matter what the scales says. My lowest weight post high school (I never weighed myself until about a year after I graduated -when I first joined a gym) was 121 and even then I talked about losing more weight.


Right now my biggest goal is to try and obtain a healthy relationship with food. I want to be able to eat just one of the cookies my coworker brought to work, instead of waiting until no one is around and eating 10. I want to be able to eat healthy but not obsessively track my calories because if I eat anything over 1300 all my efforts will be ruining and I will gain weight.

I am commit to having a healthy relationship with food.


What I ate Wednesday

May 19, 2011


Breakfast: Special K w/ 4 strawberries, half a banana and fat free milk + coffee w/ Sugar Free Creamer and 2 packets of Splenda

Snack 1: Mixed Nuts

Lunch: BBQ Chicken Salad and mandarin oranges

Snack 2: Apple w/ Almond Butter + iced coffee w/ vanilla soy milk and 2 packets of splenda

Dinner: Chicken Salad (chicken, celery, apple, grapes, light mayo)

Post Workout: Sandwich thin with Cream Cheese type stuff <—I bought what I thought was a yogurt parfait at the gym and it ended up being more like cream cheese w/ blueberries and granola in it, so I saved it for desert for when I got home and added it to a sandwich thin.


Today was another gorgeous day so I rode my bike to the gym ~2 m RT. Then had lifeguarding class, we spent about 2 hours in the pool. Friday is my last class, which is when we take the test, eeek I’m nervous. I am going to be in study mode tomorrow after work!

Pool Time

May 17, 2011


I went to my Master Swim Team practice this morning at 5 AM and got out of the pool at about 6:15. Here are the sets we did:

1 200 free

1 200 kick (I did 150 free kick and 50 breast stroke kick)

6 50 free

100 easy free

6 50 free with a dive at the 25

6 200 pull <- my shoulders were killing me after the first 2

1 100 cool down

Total Yards: 2400

Not bad for an early morning workout.

Then after work I had my lifeguarding course and we got in the pool from 7:30 to 9:00. Tonight we learned how to rescue a victim with a neck or back injury and how to use the backboard in the water – which is not easy! This class was not as active as last week but still another 1:30 in the water.

I feel good about starting this week off right, tomorrow I plan to ride my bike to work, ~4 miles. It is suppose to be sunny, yay!

The last couple of days have been beautiful and today even broke 70 for the first time this year! It was amazing.


This tree is so pretty, they have them all through out my complex.

So to celebrate all this amazingness I wore a dress to work with peep toe shoes, then changed into this for my lifeguarding class


The shorts are from American Eagle and I got them for $10! I absolutely love them. So much more comfortable for me right now then the regular short shorts I wear. The sunglasses are Ray Bans and I am also in love. I got them in December because The Sunglasses Hut sent me a coupon for my birthday and this is one of the handful of times I have been able to wear them. I’m so glad I got that coupon though because last summer I went through a phase of losing expensive sunglasses, that and getting speeding tickets :/ It was a very expensive time.


On Monday I went to my master swim class from 5 AM – 6:20, came home and got ready for work in record time, and then went to  work. From work I had PT and then rushed to the gym for the Lifeguard Certification classes I am taking. The class runs from 4:30 – 9:30 and I had assumed it would be mostly book work. Boy was I wrong! We spent the first hour doing the initial swim test (which took forever because I was the only one who could actually lap swim). From there we went to the class room for about an hour and a half and the rest of the time was spent back in the pool. I have not been swimming on a regular basis so this was a lot of pool time for me and has made me exhausted this week. 

This morning I decided it was best to skip my swimming and save my energy for lifeguarding which worked out for the best, today we spent an hour in the class room and almost 4 in the pool. This class is giving me a good workout and I don’t think I need to do 2 a days, maybe once I’m in shape it wouldn’t be so bad but not now when I am just getting into things.

What I Ate Wednesday

I’ve seen this on other blogs and thought it would be fun to do here to! Once a week is really enough, trust me, if you saw my eats everyday I would bore you all to death. So here we go:

Breakfast: Fage Greek yogurt, 1/2 of a banana, 5 strawberries + coffee with SF creamer and 2 Splenda packets

Snack 1: Mixed Nuts

Lunch: Chicken w/ almonds lean cuisine (I try to avoid these but I was really busy today and couldn’t leave work to get food)

Snack 2: 1/2 banana w/ maple almond butter. I use these packets for portion control – otherwise I would eat way to much, this stuff is amazing.

005 (2)


Dinner: I had to eat this on the run to – Chicken Salad (chicken, celery, apple, grapes, light mayo, almonds) in a flat out with mixed greens

Desert: Chocolate VitaTop and 3 yogurt covered almondsvitatop

Have you tried these yet? They are so good!! The perfect night cap after dinner and only 100 calories.

Week 3 Weigh In

April 26, 2011

Weight as of 4/26: 155.2

I’m not happy with this number but given the circumstances of the last couple of weeks things could have been a lot worse.


I have been eating without care or regard for calories and nutrition. Every morning after breakfast I have written down a menu plan for the day. I think this is a good practice that I will continue to do,I just need to follow through with the menu. I did this all week but around lunch time the stress of everything going on would come to the forefront of my mind and I would give up and give in to all the food temptations at my office and home.


Working out has been almost non-existent. While in California I went on a few walks. I packed work out clothes and my running shoes with good intentions but the weekend ended up being a lot more emotionally exhausting then I expected. This past Easter weekend I went golfing on a 9 hole course. We walked the course and I actually woke up the next day with a sore mid section! I do not foresee golfing becoming a serious hobby for me but it is a good way to enjoy the sunshine and be active. I think I will be going several times this summer.


Ponderosa Springs Golf Course

The Next Week

Today starts my 4 day vacation. I will be hanging out at home for the day then tomorrow, after a dreaded dentist appointment, I will be heading to Seattle! I have had a layover at SeaTac almost every time I’ve flown for the past 3 years and have even ventured out to a hotel next to the airport once but have never had a chance to explore the city. Now that I only live 5 hrs. away I hope this will be the first of many trips to the city.

So what does this mean for the diet? I am hoping to break even next weigh in. To save money and calories I will bring food for breakfast, lunch and snacks from home. We have not booked a hotel yet but I hope to find one with a workout facility and that is within walking distance to many of the major attractions.

Sleeping in feels great

April 9, 2011

Normally I go into work at 7:00 am. I am fortunate enough to only live a short 5 – 10 minute drive away from my office but sometimes I still get jealous when my roommate doesn’t even walk in the door to the apartment (she usually stays at the bf’s) until almost 8 am. And still has 30 minutes to get ready for work. Well today I had a physical therapist appointment at 7:45, so instead of going into work for half an hour, I sleep in. And it felt great. Another perk of having more time in the morning, making breakfast! I decided to make oatmeal this morning. I was even able to enjoy the morning news while eating! I typically eat breakfast at my desk. This Friday morning was the best!



In my awesome New York City soup bowl:

1/3 oatmeal

1/3 0% milk

1/3 water

1 tbsp Justin’s Maple Almond Butter

And not measured Maple Pecan Granola on top. I made the granola at home from this recipe from Kath Eats. I added slightly more pecans to mine and sliced almonds as well. I really like my granola nutty.


I though about what workout I would do all day. I wanted to get outside because we had another gorgeous day here but felt exhausted by the time I got home. So I ended up getting comfy on the couch instead. I have a lot of DVRed shows to catch up on! After eating dinner I decided to do one of the workout DVDs I have and found this one first

Fit in you Jeans by Friday

I have a weird obsession with the Kardashians

There is a warm up and 3 10 minute routines on this DVD. I did the warm up and first two routines. This was a tiring workout! And by the second routine it started to get hard to follow along with Kim. As I said before I was tired going into this so when I couldn’t get the steps right I decided it was time to quit.

I’m happy with myself for doing something even though I really did not want to!