Today has been a bad day.

I woke up several times last night with a stomach ache and I have no idea what it was from. The first time I woke up I decided immediately I would not be waking up at 5:00 am to make it to master swim. So I turned that alarm off and set another for an hour later, or so I thought. I ended up waking up a whole 15 minutes before I had to be to work. Crap. So I jumped out of bed brushed my teeth and through together an outfit in no time.  I ended up being only 5 minutes late considering but I absolutely hate being late.

And the second I sat at my desk all the problems started. I felt uncomfortable all day, I hated my outfit. I felt like it was unflattering and was the main cause of my being uncomfortable. I keep sitting it weird positions all day trying to disguise my stomach which eventually made my back ache. My hair looked dreadful, I didn’t even have time to put a brush through it. I barely swept any makeup on my face which has been revolting against me and is severely broken out. I felt like I look like a wreak and it really took a toll on me mentally.

With all this going through my brain I could hardly concentrate on the work I should have been doing and instead got caught up on my blog reading. Once I finished reading all the posts in my reader I turned to food to distract me. Now this obviously does make sense, I felt uncomfortable because I felt fat yet food will somehow make me feel better? Well after a few granola bars, a couple cookies, and a pint of ice cream, I did not feel better. Shocking.

I started this blog a couple of months ago as a way to keep track of workouts, track weight loss, and keep myself accountable. I have failed miserably at all three. On April 13th I weighed 153.4 with hopes of being 130 by the end of June. Well, on June 1st I weighed myself hoping to make a fresh start and get back on track, I weighed 164.6, the highest I have ever weighed. I didn’t freak out –or at least I tried not to- I just made myself recommit to my efforts. My last weigh in came in at 152.4 – the first time I have come below my starting weight from April 13th. I had lost 12 pound in 16 days.  This made me the happiest girl in the world and sadly I decided to celebrate the good news with over eating, fail.

Anyways, this post is suppose to be leading to how unhealthy my relationship with food is. I have an all or nothing attitude that needs to change. My weight determines my mood. I skip outings with friends to avoid overeating and drinking. And instead end up overeating another day when I’m feeling lonely. If my pants feel tight it makes me depressed and uncomfortable, and I talk all the time about how I want to lose weight, no matter what the scales says. My lowest weight post high school (I never weighed myself until about a year after I graduated -when I first joined a gym) was 121 and even then I talked about losing more weight.


Right now my biggest goal is to try and obtain a healthy relationship with food. I want to be able to eat just one of the cookies my coworker brought to work, instead of waiting until no one is around and eating 10. I want to be able to eat healthy but not obsessively track my calories because if I eat anything over 1300 all my efforts will be ruining and I will gain weight.

I am commit to having a healthy relationship with food.


Workout Recap

June 21, 2011

6/13: Swim ~1 hr

6/14: Run/ Walk 2 1 m / Weights / Cycle Class

6/15: Swim ~1 hr

6/16: Bike ~10 m / Weights Rest

I took an extra rest day last week because I was feeling exhausted by Thursday and wanted to do nothing except lay in bed and catch up on The Bachelorette J

6/17: Swim ~ 1 hr / Run/Walk 2 m+ 25 min on the elliptical

Something amazing happened on this workout. I went to the gym expecting to walk half a mile warm up, do run 1:30 min / walk 1:00 min intervals for a mile and walk half a mile cool down. This was my expectation because I have not been running in months and have never been able to run very far. Also, on Tuesday I started to attempt to do the same thing but didn’t even run because my feet were bothering me.

Well I walked .40 and started to jog and felt good! I want out of breath and my legs felt strong so I kept going after a 1:30. I ended up running a full mile! and only stopped because my feet were starting to protest. Then I walked .25 of a mile and ran jogged another .25. That’s when the treadmill decided it was time to cool down and get off so I did. Need to actually mess with the settings next time instead of just pressing quick start!

This workout gave me the confidence boost that I have needed.

6/18: Rest Cleaned house – Now that is a workout! haha

6/19: Bike Group ~30 m

This was a tough ride (holy hills!) and sadly my knee really started bothering me by the end of it.I stopped a couple times to stretch and even stopped on the middle of a hill to rest. At one point I thought about walking up the stupid hill but decided it was best to push through it. Probably a bad idea since now my knee hurts when I walk.

I’m going to the bike shop this week to get the fit of my bike analyzed again and look at possibly getting different shoes.

Here is the plan this week, which all depends on how my knee feels:

6/20: Swim ~1 hr

6/21: Run/ Walk 2 m / Weights

6/22: Swim ~1 hr / Easy ~4 m bike

6/23: Bike ~6 m / Weights

6/24: Swim ~ 1 hr / Run/Walk 2 m

6/25: Rest

6/26: Bike Group ~30 m – This ride is supposed to have even more hills than last week!

 I am determined to get in strength training this week as this is probably why I have been having so much troble with my feet and knees.  The reason it has not happened up to this point is because I bought a book that has an entire weight lifiting plan but have not been able to read it yet. Well if I still do not have time this week to read it I will just lift weights on my own. Somrthing is better than nothing right!

In other news…Work, summer school, and working out have been kicking my butt the last month and unfortunately working out comes last on my list of priorities. Obviously blogging comes next…. I’m working on prioritizing my life and hopefully relief will come soon.

Back on track…

June 13, 2011

…with a workout recap!  Here is what I had planned for last week and what I actually did:

6/6: Swim ~1 hr Done!

6/7: Run 30 min / Bike ~10 m ~6m

6/8: Swim ~1 hr Done! plus Golf 9 holes

6/9: Run 30 min / Bike ~10 m ~5m

6/10: Swim ~ 1 hr / Bike ~10 m Took an extra rest day, I was tired!

6/11: Rest

6/12: Bike Group ~30 m

My plan for last week was to wake up at 5 am everyday to get my workouts in before work. Well unfortunately jumping into this hour early wakeup call was harder than I thought and it only happened two days last week. This week I hope to make it four. I am currently working full time and taking 2 summer classes so by the time I am off work I jump right into homework, throwing a workout into that mix was stressing me out and ended up falling by the wayside. So waking up in the morning relives some stress and also ensures I do not blow my workout off.

On Wednesday I golfed with a group of coworkers. We walked the course and I carried the golf bag on my shoulder.

The 30 miles on Sunday with my bike group was hard but so worth it! I push myself so much harder when riding with other people as opposed to by myself. This ride also made me realize just how out of shape I am. By the end I was crawling up even the smallest of hills. But it was a gorgeous day out and I am so glad I did it!

Here is the plan for this week:

6/13: Swim ~1 hr

6/14: Run/ Walk 2 m / Weights / Cycle Class

6/15: Swim ~1 hr

6/16: Bike ~10 m / Weights

6/17: Swim ~ 1 hr / Run/Walk 2 m

6/18: Rest

6/19: Bike Group ~30 m

My big goals for this week are: wake up at 5:00 am to get in an hour workout before work 4 days this week. And Run/Walk and lift weights twice this week.

Workout Recap

May 22, 2011

Here is what I had planned for this past week, the red indicating what I actually did on some days:

5/16: Swim ~1:20 / Lifeguarding Course

5/17: Bike ~10 m ~8 m

5/18: Lifeguarding Course

5/19: Bike ~5  ~6 m

5/20: Swim ~ 1:20 / Lifeguarding Course

5/21: Bike Group ~7 m

5/22: C25K 1.1 Rest

I am happy with the amount of exercise I got in. The only thing I am disappointed about is not starting the Couch to 5K program on Sunday like I intended. Me and running have a love-hate relationship so this time I planning on taking it really slow, as in slower than what the C25K program has you do. I also think all the cross training I am doing will be beneficial to my attempt at running this time around.

Here is the plan for this week, 5/23:

5/23: C25K 1.1

5/24: Bike ~10 m

5/25: Swim ~1:20

5/26: Bike ~10

5/27: Swim ~ 1:20 / C25K 1.2

5/28: Rest

5/29: Rest

I am planning on resting Saturday and Sunday because it is Memorial Day Weekend and I am going camping with a friend. I will attempt to be active on this trip but I believe more drinking and sitting by the fire (its suppose to rain the whole time) will be done Smile

I want to eat

May 20, 2011

Not becuase I’m hungry but because I am stressed!! On the agenda today:

1. Wake up 30minutes later than planned, skip workout.

2. Get to work an hour early to attempt to get some studying in.

3. Work a full 8 (should have taken the day off obviously)

4. Take Lifeguard certification test unprepared cause I suck and just started studying last night

5. Hopefully pass said test, come home do homework for summer school (which sucks btw) that I should have started Monday and have ignored until tonight.

6. Sleep – Hopefully, dont know if I will actually have time for this one.

All of this is making me just want to through my hands in the air, say forget it, who cares if I fail, and eat 20 cupcakes in the span of 2 minutes. Cause you know, gaining 5 more pounds and failing at life will make me feel so much better.

What I ate Wednesday

May 19, 2011


Breakfast: Special K w/ 4 strawberries, half a banana and fat free milk + coffee w/ Sugar Free Creamer and 2 packets of Splenda

Snack 1: Mixed Nuts

Lunch: BBQ Chicken Salad and mandarin oranges

Snack 2: Apple w/ Almond Butter + iced coffee w/ vanilla soy milk and 2 packets of splenda

Dinner: Chicken Salad (chicken, celery, apple, grapes, light mayo)

Post Workout: Sandwich thin with Cream Cheese type stuff <—I bought what I thought was a yogurt parfait at the gym and it ended up being more like cream cheese w/ blueberries and granola in it, so I saved it for desert for when I got home and added it to a sandwich thin.


Today was another gorgeous day so I rode my bike to the gym ~2 m RT. Then had lifeguarding class, we spent about 2 hours in the pool. Friday is my last class, which is when we take the test, eeek I’m nervous. I am going to be in study mode tomorrow after work!

Pool Time

May 17, 2011


I went to my Master Swim Team practice this morning at 5 AM and got out of the pool at about 6:15. Here are the sets we did:

1 200 free

1 200 kick (I did 150 free kick and 50 breast stroke kick)

6 50 free

100 easy free

6 50 free with a dive at the 25

6 200 pull <- my shoulders were killing me after the first 2

1 100 cool down

Total Yards: 2400

Not bad for an early morning workout.

Then after work I had my lifeguarding course and we got in the pool from 7:30 to 9:00. Tonight we learned how to rescue a victim with a neck or back injury and how to use the backboard in the water – which is not easy! This class was not as active as last week but still another 1:30 in the water.

I feel good about starting this week off right, tomorrow I plan to ride my bike to work, ~4 miles. It is suppose to be sunny, yay!